so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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