I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
