he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
