I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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