Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
