You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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