I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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