We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
