She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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