I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
