he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
