So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
