I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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