Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Randomize
