And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
