I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
