I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
