My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I didn't notice because vodka
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
