I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
