i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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