So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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