I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need a hoe opinion
go on
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
