i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
