Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
