we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
