You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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