She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
