we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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