I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
