DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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