Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
