his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
