i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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