Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
