i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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