yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
