omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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