there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
