i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
