i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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