i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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