How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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