I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
