oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
