I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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