He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
