Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
