My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
