I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I showed him my bush... on skype.
this boner is exhausting
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
