i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
