At least make sure they are 18
Why
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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