Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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